A Work in Progress

Some days I feel like such a fraud—as a writer, as a mother, as a Christian. How about you? I remember the first time I thought this. I was listening to a speaker at a Christian writers’ conference. A lot of people there thought I must be successful because I’d won a few awards and had an agent, and I played along like I was the confident person they believed I was. Meanwhile, all I could think about was the rejection from an editor and the likelihood of my award-winning novel ever being published slipping away.

Last weekend, I spent two scorching days melting in the oppressive heat and humidity of Orlando, Florida, watching my youngest son play in a soccer tournament. I’m telling you if you ever want to see me lose my religion in a flash, come to a soccer game. If it’s not the referee making a bad call, it’s the rude parents from the other team or the kid that keeps shoving my son. Before I know it, I’m confessing my behavior to our long-suffering Father and begging for forgiveness.  But then, of course, we have to get on the interstate and drive home, and well, you know the drill.

How can I call myself a Christian? What kind of example am I to my children? Sure, I lead two small groups and teach Sunday school to teenagers, and I have started calling bad drivers, “sweetheart and princess.” But what would the church crowd think if they saw me at my worst? More importantly, what will the new Christian think or the unbeliever? I say I’m faithful, and yet, I doubt and worry. I think judgmental thoughts with a self-righteous attitude. Gracious, by the time, I finish this post, y’all will think I’m an awful person, and I might lose my Sunday School teacher position, but I think it is important, to be honest—to be real. (And since most people are afraid of twenty high school students in close-quarters, I don’t have to worry about being fired quite yet.)

It is not enough to ask for forgiveness, so I pray every day to be a blessing to others, and God is working on me. We all have our issues. We all sin. We all make mistakes because like I tell my children, there was only one perfect person, and his name was Jesus. Yes, dear friends, we are all frauds at some point, but hear the good news: with Jesus, there is hope for transformation. The Holy Spirit can change us and our thoughts. We have to give it all to Him and seek His direction. We must earnestly repent, and then pray for those people who cut us off in traffic.

In First Corinthians 1:27-31, Paul writes encouraging words for all of us less than perfect people. “God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

God gives us the strength and wisdom, and when we succeed, we give him all the glory. Surely, we understand that it is only through His power and love that great things happen. Friends, if you don’t know about this love, this power, this grace, and this freedom, please know it is a gift from God and all you need say is yes.

How has God used your weaknesses to do his work? How has God taken something small in your life and made it something great? Let’s share. I’d love to hear your stories.

3 thoughts on “A Work in Progress

  1. Leslie I liked you from the moment we met in Nashville. You have a confidence in Christ and a humble spirit.

    Your first paragraph could have been written by myself. I often feel that I don’t do the things God would have me do or fail to be Christ like in all situations. And it’s easy to compare ourselves to others. Thank you for admitting perfection is not attainable in this life. I have all confidence you will be published. And sooner than you expect.

    Blessings!

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